Inside My Mind: Wake Up Calls - Inside My Mind

Everyone has those moments in life that we call "wake up calls". Those moments where you're shaken to the core. Well, one of those moments for me came around 1am on August 20th, 2009. It was about that time that I was told that the minor discomfort and generally "don't feel good" feeling that I'd been having for 3 days was, in fact, a heart attack. Now, that is a major wake up call for anyone of any age. But, for someone who's only 35, it's almost Earth shattering.

I've always believed in God, although I don't go to church. I just find "organized religion" to be more like "big business", with some nicer perks. I choose to worship in my own way, and give of my time and money in ways that I see fit. Much of the money put into the collection plate at your church goes to "pay the bills". Although a church is "tax exempt", that doesn't exclude them from paying their electric bill. The Catholic Church has to pay for that Pope-mobile somehow.

Now, since the 20th, I've been on an emotional rollercoaster. I've been to the lowest of the lows about 24 hours after I was admitted to ICU, when I finally realized how very close to death that I had come. But, knowing how close I came to death has also brought me to the highest of the highs, knowing that I survived, and that any day I'm vertical is a good day.

The results from the heart cath indicated that I had indeed had a heart attack (which was also confirmed through blood tests and ECG readings). It also showed that I only had a small amount of damage on the bottom of my heart, but my heart function remains at 100%. They also could not find any blockages during the heart cath.

After all of the testing, and knowing that I had a heart attack for 3 days, I can't help but feel that The Big Guy has a plan for me. I just don't know what.